ambermist80171

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ambermist80171 • 10 March 2015, 12:59 Show comment
Today is my birthday so I decided a few rules to survive this year. So I won't wake up in a hospital, jail, some stranger bed, or a mental ward(I still can't remember what happen that year. I think it was great birthday.)So the rules of birthday survival .
1. I am 35. So I have a 35 year old liver. That means I can't try to out drink everyone in the bar. Even if everyone cheer me on. Cause the only thing that going to cheer me on in the morning is the toilet.
2.No talking to any guy who young enough to be consider my child. Really is I am still a MILF if I don't have any children. A less that person think I am there mother, then Sigmund Freud will have field day with us.(or maybe just with me)
3.No matter how many people wish me happy birthday, I should not get a big head about it. They are just being polite. I mean if they really want to wish me happy birthday there will be gifts involved.
4. No going to the clubs and party like its 1999. Been there, done that and still have the consequences from it.
5. Just cause it my birthday doesn't means the world stop. I still have to go the work, pay bills and etc. Last time I checked I have not done anything world changing, to make my birthday a national holiday.( I am still trying though. The cure for the common cold should do it.)
So these are the rules I will foll--- I remember now it was on my 25th birthday. There were a donkey, a clown, some funny tasting mushrooms and a celebrity(now if I can remember which celebrity, I might get paid.)and hotel room 62--- oh crap I loss that memory again. Well anyways these are the rules to survive my 35th birthday. They seem boring maybe I should try them next year. By then maybe I be matured enough to follow through or my body will be old enough to make me follow through. Beside my birthday only come once a year. Isn't that what I said last year when I came out jail. I swear I thought that the police officer was a stripper.

Last edited by ambermist80, 3 months ago

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ambermist80171 • 08 March 2015, 13:19 Show comment
My Journey To Become An Alpha Bitch?
I am turning thirty five in couple days. So yes I get to play that awesome game, How Shitty is my life now? The one I play every year sometimes there is a Christmas bonus episode. The prize I seem to win is not to walk off my favorite bridge. I mean if you going to walk off a bridge it might as well be your favorite. I decide this the year, after googling some bridges, that I am going to change. That means I am taking no shit from no one. No more laying there like a rug while people walk right over me. I realize that is my problem, is I am too kind and I care too much. In this day and age it spells DOORMAT. That what I tell people, that the signal I give other people to come and walk softly on my back and take your biggest shit. I am O.K. by that. That what people been doing for the last thirty five years of my life. So I say no more. No more staying in a shitty relationship, where my boyfriend collect and create new sexual diseases with girls who glance his way. No more of my shitty family calling me or talking to me only when the want something, it usually money I don't have. No more of my shitty boss sexual innuendo. He can put special cream in his own coffee. I am becoming a bitch and not just your everyday bitch an Alpha Bitch. Where my brain is stuck on cruel, cold, and heartless. No you can not come over at three o'clock in the morning, after fucking some random girl you met at a club. That what I will say to my boyfriend. How do I know he will probably ask me (you are thinking the same thing). I say next time you cheat don't post it on Facebook then twitter about how big her boobs are. Give me another chance it will not happen again(yeah right). His next words? Look your chance fall into a volcano why don't you join it. That will be my last words to him as I change my Facebook status to single. I am sure he(and the girl that is next to him) wouldn't lose any sleep. No I can't loan you some money to buy some grocery. I say to my younger sister. Not when you got a new car,and I am stuck riding the bus. Not when you got a better apartment, and I am stuck begging my landlord to spray the apartment for roaches as big as rats. Not when you wear the latest designer clothes, and I am stuck at Goodwill trying to find clothes that doesn't have a mysterious stain on them. So no I am not going to loan you any money for grocery. If I don't lend you any money then maybe I can have some of that nice shit you have. Fuck H.R., I do not need a lawyer. I just need is my Iphone. Then I will own my boss with the shit he says to me. He be serving me coffee and I get a raise that is not a sexual innuendo. That what an Alpha Bitch would do. So no more shit. It is brand new day. I will become the biggest baddest Alpha Bitch in town. So, I hear that the Brooklyn bridge is nice this time of year and I always wanted to visit New York.

Last edited by ambermist80, 3 months ago

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